Listening more...check!

I'm really getting in the groove of listening more. Not surprisingly, when I am quiet, I really hear what my kids need, and therefore, I am not plagued by communication failure. My plan to listen more this month is working.

It's spilling over into the rest of my life too. I've been faced with two particularly difficult situations outside of my family. Both times, I listened intently, not speaking, until I really had something of value to say. It paid off. Both situations were resolved with good feelings intact.

Making our words count as a parent are so important. Words are so powerful when used correctly, and so completely ineffective when we just toss them out there without thought. Being extroverted, I love to talk. However, using too many words can be my downfall. I often catch myself micromanaging by overusing words instead of just listening.

For example: I might ask my son to do something. Then, I ask the following question to make sure he is on board: "Do you understand what I am asking? Do you need more instruction?" Once he confirms he understands, common sense says that it is time to back off and let it happen. I, on the other hand, put on my control freak hat and start to pepper him with questions, "Can I offer you a hand? Can I get something for you? Would it be helpful to you if...? Are you going to do it now? I don't ask all of these questions, but I ask just enough to annoy a grown man (just ask my husband!) OR to undermine a young growing man and make him feel as if he is not capable of the job at hand.

So, I am listening more, talking less, and stepping back to allow mistakes to happen and messes to be made. I can see all the kids really responding positively to this change.