I've just been on vacation again, which I love, and low and behold, my daughter has decided to exercise her independence and her lungs (which incidentally work very well). I remember well with the boys that age three was much more challenging than age two. So, I have been under the mistaken impression that I had over a year left before the true roller coaster ride began. Yeah...not so much.
It happened so quickly!. One minute my sweet girly was following me around and doing exactly as I said showing others that I truly am the best mother (You all know this is a joke right?). Then, as if a switch had been flipped, she began crying and wailing at the drop of a hat. She now collapses to the ground in frustration if she doesn't get her way. Not only does she not come when I call, she turns the other way and bolts. She doesn't like to hold my hand in parking lots anymore, and she stiffens like a 2X4 when I try to put her in her carseat. All-in-all, taking her anywhere and requesting something of her is not the pleasant experience it was even three weeks ago.
How I love this girl though! I know I'm in for a ride over the next 18+ years, but something about this behavior feel comforting this time around. I know she is growing up, moving on, and going through each stage just as she should. It's my rose-colored glasses approach to parenting during a difficult situation.
On a particularly trying day of melt-down after melt-down, I was at an art fair buying some photos. My busy little toddler was trying to spin around the photo card display to see if she could make the cards fly off. I didn't feel the artist would find this nearly as amusing as my little one so I stopped her from spinning by saying, "Not for baby" and gently held her hands back. She immediately melted to the ground into a pile of baby goo. She added screeching for good measure. Being a bit stuck and in the middle of the transaction, all I could do was pluck her off the ground and tuck her under my arm until I could high tail it out of there. She continued flailing about and wailing while I finished.
After removing her, I had to put her down or risk her wiggling so vigorously that I would drop her. I placed her on the parking lot and gently followed her head down with my hands so it wouldn't hit the pavement. Then, I stepped aside while she laid there in protest. She began to risk injuring herself by rolling about so I picked her rigid body up and placed it on the grass instead. Still, she remained upset. I talked to her gently, and tried to coax her to come with me. She would quiet down until I would try to pick her up. Then, she would start screeching and flailing again until I left her alone.
During my wait, I thought about all the years I'd been a parent. I tried hard to remember the other kids doing this same thing. What did I do? When did it end? I ran down all the bad advice I'd ever received. None of that seemed right either. I decided to wait it out.
Just as I was getting worn out and tired of this mess, a woman walked up to me. She had watched this whole scene play out unnoticed by me. I was prepared for the worst, but she said to me, "I remember being in your shoes. It's so hard. You are doing the right thing. You are such a good mother.". My jaw nearly dropped. I told her, "You don't know how much I need to hear that right now. I don't think many people would agree with how I'm handling this." She replied, "I agree with you."
So to all of my readers, please remember, You are good parents. When you think you are at the end of your rope, there are many other parents hanging on there with you. If no one else comes up to you and tells you that you are doing a good job, picture me telling you. I'm on your side. I'm your personal cheerleader.
And how did it end? My feisty little one eventually decided that getting snuggles and kisses from Mommy was much better than laying on the ground under a tree. The eventual nap also worked its magic.
Monday, July 7, 2008
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