A Month of Love

As a parent, I've feeling lately, like crawling in a hole and giving up. I realize that some of you are thinking: What?!? Stacy feels this way too? The answer is a big fat yes. I wouldn't trade one of my darlings away for anything, but I really am recognizing that I'm at my threshold as far as my ability to mother the quantity of children I have. This puts to rest the question from nosy people, "Will you have more kids?" Um...no.

The last eighteen months have been some of the most challenging I've ever had. I've felt more irritation, grief, anger, frustration, and guilt than I ever have in my 10+ years of parenting. I have four kids at four distinct ages, with four very distinct personalities, and I feel sometimes like I'm getting sucked down a drain.

I know in my heart that all the things that are going on can be fixed, so I'm spending the next thirty days working on mothering my children better. Lest anyone think I'm too hard on myself, let me offer thanks. I appreciate that you feel that way. Really, I do! I'm a very easy-going person. I do not expect perfection by any means. There is no perfect mother or father. I do think that since my career choice is to be a mother, I should be doing the best job that I can. I would be giving my all to a paying job, and I see this as no different, and in many ways, more important.

My goals for the month are as follows:
1. Make better food
2. Enlist the kids help with more of the housework
3. Read to my children more
4. Appreciate the time I have to myself
5. Listen more and enjoy the company of my kids

The name of this post is amusing to me. A Month of Love? That's it? I hope it will jump start some new behaviors that will continue on. I have more than a month of love to give. I've got a lifetime of love for my kids. I want to make sure that they know it, and feel it, every single day.